Communication is lubrication


It's true – a thoughtfully constructed message elicits a very bodily sensation. 

First impressions do count, and that first text or email you send to your companion can lead to one of two things:

  • An enthusiastic response, a thrilling sense of anticipation, and a prompt booking, or;
  • Radio silence.

Before you begin firing off an email, it's important to demonstrate that you've paid attention to your companion's profile. One word text messages or pizza orders simply won't be received with enthusiasm.


It's time you learned the language of love, grace and influence. Toil and suffer no more.

This is a template. You copy and paste it. You customise the areas marked with <these bits>.

It's the key to your salvation.


Hi <their name>,

I found your profile on <website/social media>.

My name is <your name>. I describe myself as <funny/smart/kind>.

I would like to see you on <day> for <length of date>.

I would like to book <name of hotel>.

During our time together, I would really like to experience <BBBJ/rimming/etc> and would love if you wore <stockings/dress/lingerie>.

Please let me know if you're free and I will make a deposit.

Take care,

<your name>.