Personal Intimacy: A Daily Practice


I've always found delight in the company of women, and pride myself on my ability create almost instantaneous intimacy with females. Which is why I'm not surprised at the depth of our first conversation, I giggling with glee and she delivering a hearty chuckle. No, I'm not surprised I feel at ease conversing with her. She is across oceans and continents, and we have found the time to converse, us two working ladies, on all manner of taboo: sex, emotional intelligence, monogamy, shame and entrepreneurialism. We're far apart, but have carved out our own intimate corner of the web for an hour to share thoughts.

"It scares men that we can create physical intimacy, yet queer this notion that women are purely emotional creatures. We can sustain physical lust and intimacy, yet remained uninhibited."

I agree with her completely. It's why I adore a short and sweet booking rendezvous: getting to know someone's intimate emotional and physical crevices over the span of an evening, and then departing, leaving a lingering scent of perhaps a few strands of golden hair strewn across a sea of messy bed sheets.

"But I do feel such love and care and least temporarily. Sometimes for days afterwards."

She laughs heartfully at my confession. Perhaps she thinks I'm naive? A little too careless with my emotions? It's true that I'm an empath through and through, occasionally mourning fictional characters come the final chapter. There's a whole architecture studio inside my brain, and non-living people aren't excluded from this intimate space I create for them to live within.

But I am wrong in thinking she judges me, because she doesn't.

She mirrors my sentiment with grace:

"You can go on to create great emotional intimacy and connections with your paramours, and that's the beauty of it. But you need to love yourself first. That's the key to sustaining your trysts."

Creating intimacy within myself, by myself, and for myself, is not a foreign concept. I'd first heard mention of this self-care practice from another escort, well before I'd even registered for my SWA. 

Personal intimacy, it would seem, is a common priority for those who spend so much of their time cultivating compassion for others.

But can you truly be intimate with yourself? I'm talking straight to you here: I believe you can.

But it's personal intimacy that we so often deprioritise, yet benefit greatly from.

I'm all for a kinaesthetic connection, for sex with the lights on, and eye-to-eye contact in the midst of an amorous awakening. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that your personal intimacy is your power. It's that place where you can learn to muster self-esteem, tenderness and care, and then share that with those around you...for as long as you wish.

Whatever mosaic of practices your perform to get you to that space is up to you. But personal intimacy - kindness, compassion and care for yourself - always comes first...and is fertile ground for creating intimacy with others.