Why fantasies are important in the bedroom


No road offers more mystery than your imagination. Ask me a few years ago if I’d imagined a future of professionally providing passion, and I would have cocked my brow and stared into my soy chai latte, as if the intensity of my stare could have gauged the person I was to become.

That's the person I am today. She teases and she tickles with an assortment feathers, and sashays through hotel lobbies with a glimmer of debauchery in her sparkling eyes.

She watches men climax on her chest, offering encouragement punctuated with giggles of glee.

I’d always been an intensely precocious teenager, eager to call boys back to my place come my parent’s annual vacation. But my sexual repertoire never strayed far from the straight and narrow line that we all too often walk in fear of discomfort and shame. Bar a few threesomes, moresomes and light spanking, it wasn’t until a few candles short of 30 that my sexual renaissance truly began.

By chance, I met a young escort at my day job. This little pixie opened up a trap door, and it was then that I fell down the rabbit hole, never to return from wonderland again.

Perhaps you too feel the need to expand your sexuality? Perhaps you’re waiting for a bit of courage, or permission to explore your own wonderland?

You can feel that fire starting. It’s time to get burned.


The importance of fantasy play

When we’re children and our identities are not yet fully carved, we use fantasy play as a means to explore the emotional and social roles of life. And it’s the same with sexual fantasies too. Through cooperation and stepping into the shoes of others, we learn to engage with new perspectives and unleash aspects of our personality that otherwise lay dormant.

Think about it: your largest sex organ sits between your ears. Your brain actually has the capacity to allow you to think your way to orgasm. And while a bit of manual stimulation is required, arousal and orgasmic response are intensified by using the power of your imagination.

I learned this after I leapt into the arms of a friend fresh after a breakup. After a few erotic text messages, he ravished me in an alleyway as he quite literally tore my clothes from my torso in the midst of languid lust. Whereas my previous partner was passive and enjoyed seeing me in control, my new lover dominated me, carrying me through to climax as I surrendered to pleasure. It wasn’t just the physical sensations of having my body lose control – it was the new emotional dynamic that tipped me over the edge.

Stepping outside of the square and embracing my submissive fantasies felt so fucking good.


Whose fantasy is it anyway?

What’s risqué and taboo for one might be another’s version of a vanilla ice cream cone. On top of that, we all have our individual interpretations of what constitutes a fantasy or role play, yet often the two are conflated. Here’s a simple definition: all role play games are fantasies, but not all fantasies include role play games. A fantasy can be using a blindfold or indulging in the warmth of several partners at once. A role play game consists of characters, as each individual steps into the shoes of someone other than themselves. Like the saucy spy who comes to steal your company’s secrets, leaving you tied up to the bed posts in beautiful agony. Or the foreign student, eager to increase her GPA, if only her professor could reassess her oral skills.

What’s important is that it’s your fantasy, with consent being a primary caveat for indulgence with integrity.


Recapturing the spark of seduction

It’s no accident that you’re here reading my thoughts – you chose to find your way through cyberspace to explore the subject of fantasy. It struck a chord in your desire. It rang true throughout your loins.

Yet cartwheeling your way into the depths of debauchery might not be for you (and if it is, I salute thee).

Taking calculated steps into Naughty Narnia might be a more realistic endeavour, and will allow you to test your boundaries in a controlled environment.

You’re aware of me, or at least of my limbs and the price you’ll pay to see me.

A bold proposal: is it time we found your rabbit hole?

I know a place, and I can take you there. Let’s get the fuck outta here.