The tremble remedy for first-time escort clients
If you’re booking your first private escort, you probably feel like you do on a first date. Which is exciting, but it’s different from a first date.
There’s a particular way you communicate and make plans to see an escort, which dating can’t prepare you for.
We each have our own individual remedies for dealing with butterflies, and here are my top 5 I recommend to first-time escort clients.
Note: these do’s and don’t’s are best applied for AFTER you’ve chosen your companion. For my top tips on how to select your dream lover, see this post.
1. DO book a length of time that allows you to relax
Imagine walking into a room with a beautiful woman, whose attention is all yours…but only for half an hour! Better be quick in the shower, and don’t waste a minute getting down to it! Socks still on? No time for that! Hurry up! The clock is ticking!
Sounds stressful, right?
What you need is the mental space and chronological time to feel comfortable in each other’s company, so that you can open up and thoroughly enjoy the experience. This may be two hours, or this may be a 5-hour dinner date.
Either way, be REAL WITH YOURSELF. This is not about booking in accordance with “how long you will last” in the boudoir. If that’s your concern, you’re booking an escort for the wrong reasons. Booking an escort is about the experience of enjoying someone else’s company, acting our fantasies, and getting your sexual needs met. Make sure you’re able to do all of that with the correct booking length for you.
2. DO let them know you’re nervous
A good escort is compassionate and will make efforts to help you relax. When I have a particularly nervous client, I’ll check in with them and ask how they’re feeling, and ask for their consent to kiss them, and touch particular places. Call me prudish, but grabbing at the groin of a trembling fellow just isn’t good manners.
Besides, even escorts get nervous sometimes! We understand what it’s like to trust someone, so you won’t be judged for feeling a bit jittery. We generally take it as a compliment, as it just means you care.
3. DO plan your timely arrival
If you’re visiting your escort at her premises, it’s best to plan plenty of time to ensure you arrive on time (not late and NOT early either). If you arrive late, you’ll be a flustered, sweaty mess. If you arrive early, you’ll likely have to loiter in her apartment lobby in full view of the building manager, a very uncomfortable scenario.
If you have a phone and access to transport, being on time is not hard. But it does require getting organised and keeping an eye on the clock. Plan for heavy traffic, traffic accidents, public transport delays, and any other regular hiccups that might occur on your schedule.
4. DO wear comfortable yet classy clothing
Clothes might not fix the solution altogether, but when we look our best, we often feel our best too. Wear something that’s comfortable, allows you to get undressed easily, and allows your skin to breathe.
Throw on your favourite cologne for an extra confidence boost.
5. DO know what you want from the experience
Everyone seeks connection and pleasure for a reason. Some want to feel validated and desired, some want to explore a new fantasy with a willing accomplice, and some want to practice their romancing skills with a professional before they give dating a chance.
What can make you nervous about seeing your companion is the thought that the whole experience will be a let down. But if you’re clear about what you want, you can make sure you can have the experience you’re after. This mitigates any risk of getting your hopes crushed.
1. DON’T get drunk or take Valium beforehand
Meeting a new client can be nerve wracking for even the most established escorts…let alone a client who’s intoxicated. By all means, take the edge off with a beer. Just remember to stop after one or two, depending on your tolerance.
And whilst I’m pro medication, taking Valium, or any of its cousin pharmaceuticals, can result in inhibited performance (i.e. erectile dysfunction, delayed orgasm, etc). This could further compound any existing distress, so try to stay away from any pill designed to calm you down.
2. DON’T use your nervousness to excuse bad manners
Being “nervous” is a layman’s way of referring to an over-stimulated nervous system. Your body is in its primitive, fight or flight mode, and this can cloud your judgment, make you extra reactive, defensive, and a bit illogical. In this primitive state, your brain is telling you to fight for survival, not to be on you best behaviour!
But you’re an evolved adult, and just as you dealt with first-time nerves on your first day of work, so too can you make it through a booking with an escort without making a fool of yourself.
Remember: you’re responsible for how you react. If you do put your foot in it, apologise, and promise to do better going forward.
3. DON’T expect to have your mind blown every time
Sex work enables fantasies, allowing you to explore your desires, and indulge in the company of your dream lover. But because you’re finally able to meet your dream lover made flesh, expectations can get a bit overblown. It’s not your fault – we’re taught from a young age that sex is responsible for firework displays, and that the stars will rip our bedrooms open just to take a peek at the wanton acts between the sheets.
Sex can be memorable and incredibly satisfying, but remember that not everyone is sexually compatible. If you and your dream lover connect and manage to have toe curlingly good sex, a tip my hat to you both. But don’t expect every single encounter to be 100/100.
4. DON’T cancel because you’re nervous
As Susan Jeffers says, feel the fear and do it anyway. If you don’t follow through with a booking, you’ll feel nervous, guilty, and likely lose a deposit. If you do follow through with the booking, you’ll more than likely enjoy yourself, AND get through your nerves. In my experience, the chances of you having a great time in despite of the butterflies in your stomach is quite high!
5. DON’T judge yourself
Even the most esteemed public figures get nervous despite years of experience in the public eye. It’s a completely normal human emotion, but most of all, it’s not final. Being nervous subsides after time, and it will subside faster is you allow your feelings to just…be felt. Give yourself the time and space to experience this feeling – a mixture of excitement, dread, uncertainty – and know that it WILL go away.
Remember: the whole point of meeting your companion is to enjoy yourself. We’re often our own worst enemies, overcomplicating and overthinking things. But when we learn to relax, let go of control, and luxuriate in the experience, that when the magic happens.