Escorts, anal and PSE, oh my!
This post is written baring the limited scope of one's personal experience in mind. I am not an expert on anal sex, nor am I health professional, nor have I interviewed many SWs on anal sex.
For these reasons, please don't read this post as entirely prescriptive. In fact, your own personal experience might contradict everything that I've written down. And if this is the case, I invite you to comment and open a dialogue...politely of course.
Ah, the Porn Star Experience. What man or woman doesn't want to feel like the lead in their own erotic biopic? Imagine this: you, the centre of attention as all manner of sexual daydreams are bought to reality through Venus made flesh. It's better than any other encounter you've ever had, mirroring your desires to go above and beyond in the boudoir. You envisage costumes, blindfolds, whips, ankle cuffs, and sexual acrobatics galore.
You begin your search for the perfect genie to grant your wishes.
And then...you're hit by a wall of confusion.
What's actually included in a PSE? Is anal a given?
Should you pay extra?
What in the world is ATM?
If you've been searching for someone to fulfil your wanton desires, but are confused by the myriad of escort offerings, this post was written for you.
Is everyone having anal without you?
So, you want to try anal sex? You're not alone.
According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 40 percent of women aged 20 to 24, have tried anal sex, up from 16 percent in 1992. The number of women ages 20 to 39 who say they've had anal in the past year doubled to 20 percent. And 20 percent of women in relationships have had anal sex in the last three months.
And yet although we're seeing a rising trend in backdoor action, it's not entirely a given that your escort will want to offer anal sex, even if she DOES offer a PSE.
Yes, that's right. PSE does not equal ANAL. It can include anal, but if you're looking for PSE, it's best to ask your escort if it is, for want of a better word, on her menu.
Why won't my escort offer anal?
I've recently scrolled through a few threads on Twitter discussing the confusion around anal and PSE.
I've also received my fair share of emails demanding to know why I do not offer full anal sex, how dare I and who do I think I am.
While I can't speak for all escorts, I can speak for myself, and echo a few sentiments expressed to me in private by trusted sex worker friends.
And as I've written above, I'm no expert, and I write from personal experience with limited data points to refer to.
So, here are a few potential reasons for why you're not getting the green light.
1. She doesn't know you.
If she's never met you before and doesn't know the size of, erm, what she's dealing with, this itself is a huge deterrent (pun intended). While her other glory holes may more willingly accommodate girth and length, the anus is actually quite small and takes longer to "warm up". Like with "regular sex", you can't go straight for penetration. Everyone needs to be relaxed, and opened up physically and mentally to the idea of anal sex. It's best saved until after a few orgasms, or after extensive play time.
In addition to size hesitations, she doesn't know your sexual style. Are you dominant and energetic? Or are you slow and sensual? Do you know the right lube to use, and are you on the same page when it comes to hygiene and condoms? Do you know what positions feel best for both of you? Have you ever had anal sex before? These are all questions she needs answers to, and she might not get these answers until after a few bookings. Yes, you can tell her all you like how slow and gentle you'll be with her precious toosh, but she won't know what your interpretation of slow and gentle is until she's actually had sex with you.
2. She doesn't like anal sex.
Everyone's body is a unique map of nerve endings. Some may experience g-spot orgasms, intense throat orgasms, nipple-gasms, anal orgasms, or my favourite: earth-shattering cervical orgasms.
But not all people possess those nerve endings in their anus that lead to a pleasurable anal experience. If anal sex doesn't feel good for her, don't press it.
Why would you want her to do something that doesn't feel good for her anyway?
3. She just doesn't and has no particular reason.
Every provider has a right to choose how they want to work. And if she doesn't want to offer anal, and doesn't provide a reason, it's best to get back on to Scarlet Blue, search for providers that DO offer anal, and be on your merry way.
You'll be a whole lot happier in the long run.
Before you go, I wanted to answer a few other questions I get:
What's the difference between anal sex and anal play?
Think of anal play as foreplay, but for your butt. I personally ADORE anal play and that delicious feeling of a wet tongue exploring my peach.
This includes rimming (licking her butt hole and cheeks), using anal plugs, prostate play on you, and using clean fingers preferably wrapped in a condom. The condom prevents your nails scratching delicate tissue, and also prevents bacteria collecting under your nails.
Why do I have to change condoms when moving from her butt to her pussy?
No matter of douching (that's cleaning your butt hole internally) will remove every trace of bacteria. And everyone's butt is full of it. Moving straight from her butt hole to her pussy transfers bacteria, and could lead to her getting an infection (it happens!). Safe sex is sexy, and a healthy pussy is a happy pussy.
Does anal sex cost extra? Why?
Sometimes, and it depends on the escort. Some hourly rates are all inclusive, others prefer to charge more for particular activities.
There are a myriad of reasons why she might charge extra for anal: it takes time to "prepare" for anal, or it's more physically intense and she might feel it warrants a surcharge. But be warned: if she doesn't charge extra for anal, don't ask her why, as this can cause offence.