Why I went face out
“That’s a bold move.”
“You’re so pretty!”
“You’re SO UGLY. I’m so glad I didn’t book you!”
I was met with a variety of responses when I decided to show the world who I was about a month ago, dropping the news to my honoured members of The Red List first. And just as a received I variety of strong opinions about my face and my decision to unveil it, so too did I match these sentiments with the strength of my conviction.
It was time to drop the virtual mask and cease hiding behind pixels and juvenile emojis strategically placed to cover my complexion.
Although it was part of the plan all along, I was hesitant to go face out when I first dipped my toes in the adult work swimming pool.
I didn’t want civilians in my personal life to know what I got up to behind closed doors.
I didn’t want Twitter followers to recognise me on the street and blow my cover while walking to buy my coffee.
And I also wasn’t 100% confident in how I looked yet.
So what changed my mind?
1. I stopped caring what others thought
I remember when Instagram suggested my Amber King account to a bunch of people in my personal life back in 2017. I used to have just 1 phone (stupid), meaning Amber King’s account was connected to my personal phone number.
I was mortified, and to this day I’m still not entirely sure who saw it.
But today, I’m at a point in my escorting career where I take little stock in what others say about me. In fact, I’d go so far to say that it’s none of my business unless it’s positive!
So if someone in my personal life were to discover Amber King, what would I do now? If someone in my personal life were to express disdain for my chosen occupation, they wouldn’t stay in my personal life for long – no matter who they were.
I’m lucky to be blessed with friends who accept what I do, and that’s enough for me.
2. I like my face!
We’re all taught to loathe the way we look and compare our bodies to a very narrow beauty standard, and women experience this especially so.
In fact, some of us never recover from it fully.
I remember the first time I realised I didn’t like how I looked.
I was about 8 with very little care for the quantity of Nutella I ate each day. And aside from finding sunburn excruciating, paid no attention to my alabaster glow in comparison to my friends’ tanned limbs.
Then I discovered a magazine (potentially TV Hits, potentially Dolly or Girlfriend).
Upon realising my pale skin, freckles, huge calves and curly brown hair (I’m a natural brunette) didn’t fit the definition of beauty at my school (blonde, tanned, thin), I decided the body I was born was inadequate, ugly and something to be fought against.
I continued to have a fraught relationship with my physical form up until the past few years.
And while I’m far from having a perfect relationship with my form today, I do like how I look more often than not.
I might have the occasional day when I don’t like my hair, or I wish my breasts were a bit perkier.
But I like my little turned-up nose.
I love my moss green eyes and how they change colour throughout the day.
And I LOVE my freckles in the summer!
3. I like making videos where you can see me
Instagram stories are a great way for me to speak directly to my followers. When I can’t show my face, I feel like this creates a jarring experience. Who on earth is talking to you? Something about it seems almost pathological, like a ransom video or something similarly untowards.
4. I’m privileged
I’m white. I was born into a middle-class family. I live in Melbourne, one of the world’s most liveable cities in a country with an incredibly high quality of life.
Most of my family aren’t extremists and are quite liberal.
My parents quite literally accept me and love me no matter what absurd thing I do – and let me tell you, I was a NIGHTMARE teenager who terrorised them for a good 8 years.
My friends are all left-leaning progressives and feminists.
I don’t have an employer and have always been self employed.
My family isn’t violent and my father has never had a problem with substance abuse.
The point I’m making is that I live in an incredibly and almost sickeningly privileged bubble. The backlash of me going out would be far less severe than if I’d come from a conservative family, or had an Islamic background, or had a violent father who felt a need to control me.
There’s very little that could go wrong for me socially by going face out, and I recognise that I’m incredibly lucky to be able to enjoy this privilege.
5. Because people kept asking to see my face
It’s common to be half way through the booking process with a client and get hit with a message that asks for a selfie to verify who I am.
Most of these requests want to confirm 1 of 3 things:
a) For those who are racist, that I’m not Asian.
b) That I fit within that narrow definition of westernised beauty
c) That I’m a real person and not a pimp
And I don’t send selfies. I don’t know any provider that does. So now that my face is out, there’s really no reason to ask for a selfie when I’m sharing my face on Instagram and Twitter everyday. I even have a gallery on my website just for selfies!
Of course, I still get these requests from pic collectors/time wasters. So anyone who asks for a selfie now gets blocked. Bye!
Ultimately, my decision to go face out was one involving a lot of logic with a dose of intuitive guidance. Who knows, maybe I’ll go FACE IN again one day. Until then, you can enjoy seeing my face on Twitter and Instagram daily.