The truth about squirting, female ejaculation and orgasm
For the purposes of this post, the word ‘female’ is used to refer to people born with a vagina, or cis-gendered females.
I remember the first time I’d heard of squirting; I was certain such a phenomena was a myth. I was in my teens and hidden away in my cupboard, whispering explicit scenarios and fantasies to a boy on the other line.
We’d met online, and as he was a great deal older than me, served as a sexual expander to open up my world.
He told me he’d recently slept with a goddess who’d anointed him with her juices, marking his memories with a high standard for future lovers.
It sounded like sorcery. How could one perform such an illusion without the necessary equipment required for ejaculation?
So I searched, as teenagers do, on the internet for squirting porn. And I found libraries of this niche category to download, but I wasn’t entirely interested in the spectacle.
I was interested in the mechanics.
What was behind this slippery performance? How does it happen? And what is that liquid made from? Is it an orgasm? Is she peeing?
It’s a topic I’ve delved in and out of over the past years with varying enthusiasm and results. And truthfully, it wasn’t until I attended a workshop in Melbourne that I finally began to understand female pleasure.
And today, I want to share this information with you, dear lover, so you can understand your companion’s pleasure and all it’s slippery joy.
Like many aspects of pussy pleasure, there’s many a falsity that’s coveted as gospel. Like that squirting is something that “just happens naturally” (actual words spoken to me). Or that squirting is pee (it’s not, but it contains some of the same elements of urine). Or that squirting should resemble a waterfall after the storms have hit (some women can lose up to 2L of liquid, but some girls just trickle).
Perhaps the biggest myth of all is that squirting, female ejaculation and orgasms are the same thing.
A revelation: they’re not.
While male ejaculation is coupled with orgasm, female squirting is actually not an orgasm, and is not the same as female ejaculation (yes, that Wikipedia article is wrong, and so is your copy of Men’s Health).
Yes, a person with a vagina can enjoy a g-spot orgasm. But squirting can occur during any time of arousal, and is a release of fluids, rather than a contraction of muscles resulting in an orgasm.
And yes, it’s possible to orgasm and squirt at the same time, but according to one study from Brown University, only 10% of people with a vagina who can squirt are able to achieve this.
Which means that 90% of women who can squirt actually don’t orgasm at the same time.
But what of female ejaculation?
Like you and many others, I was under the impression that squirting and female ejaculation were the same thing.
Actually, they’re different fluids, regardless of what Men’s Health has told you.
While squirting is a thin, watery fluid, female ejaculate is a of a creamier, denser consistency. And while they both come out of the vagina, they’re made in different areas of the body, albeit in close proximity.
A the International Society for Sexual Medicine puts it:
“Female ejaculation and squirting/gushing are two different phenomena. The organs and the mechanisms that produce them are bona fide different. The real female ejaculation is the release of a very scanty, thick, and whitish fluid from the female prostate, while the squirting is the expulsion of a diluted fluid from the urinary bladder.”
While we know where semen comes from, we have to wonder: where does squirting from? Is it from the bladder, like mentioned above?
While female ejaculate comes from the Skene’s glands, which is located on the front wall of the vagina, squirting liquid is believed to be made in the bladder.
This belief’s origins come from one study in 2014, where women about to have sex received an ultrasound.
The women emptied their bladders before sex, and scans showed their bladders were empty. After the women became sexually aroused, either alone or with a partner, they had another ultrasound, which showed their bladders had re-filled a noticeable amount. After squirting, the ultrasounds showed the women’s bladders were empty again, supporting the theory that the liquid released in squirting is urine.
However, a chemical analysis of the liquid showed that while squirting fluid did contain the same elements as urine – urea, creatinine and uric acid – it contained a few bonus compounds.
- Female ejaculate and squirting liquid are not the same
- Female ejaculate is creamy and milky and made in the Skene’s glands
- Squirting liquid is made in the bladder and has the same elements of pee, but is not 100% pee
- Female ejaculate and squirting do not always occur at the same time of orgasm.
The big question: how can you make your girl squirt?
If you’ve discussed squirting and g-spot stimulation with your companion or partner and she’s as enthusiastic as you, now’s the time to pay attention, dear reader (if you haven’t been already). Squirting and g-spot stimulation aren’t the same for everyone: some are more responsive to this kind of play, and others find it too intense or just not pleasurable at all. Respect is key in these situations.
First rule: don’t get frustrated if your partner can’t squirt on your first attempt. Making her feel like she’s failed will likely cause her to shut down, feel ashamed, and unlikely to want to see you again. Whether it’s a partner or casual date you met on Tinder, or a companion that you’re paying, understand that the body doesn’t always do what the mind wants it to. No matter how much you’re paying your companion, you might not be making squirt tonight.
Second rule: take your time. It’s a super intense experience, and I don’t recommend going all in for the big one straight away, as your companion needs to warm up. Consider a squirting session like a long run: you need to warm up and get into a good pace to avoid injury.
Take your time to get her super wet and slippery and practically begging for it.
You can begin slowly with other forms of play, paying attention to other parts of her anatomy, like her clitoris, nipples and thighs. Not sure what to do? Ask her. Sexual inquiry is hot.
Third rule: Check in with her. You don’t have to keep asking her if she’s ok, like you would a patient at the doctor’s. A better question is: does this feel good? Do you like that? Or my personal favourite: How can this touch be more perfect?
Fourth rule: Listen to her. If she tells you she doesn’t like it or wants to stop, THEN STOP. Do not try again unless she explicitly says YES I WANT TO DO THAT.
Fifth rule: Have fun, and don’t be so goal-oriented. Yes, that sounds counter the point, right? But when you’re so focused on cumming, it really ruins the whole experience.
After all: sexual pleasure is about the experience, not the destination.